Remaining in Love

Post written by Raymund Tamayo

photo by Ethel Valerio-Navarro

There are moments when we long to be able to help someone whom we love very much, when we long to be the bright sunny day that would take them away from the day’s troubles, but we can do nothing. Circumstances do not allow us to be with them, or the person is closed to any kind of assistance or support.

Then all we are left with is love. At such times – when we can do nothing else – we can remain in love. Without expecting anything. Reward, change, or appreciation. If we do this, love will begin to ease away all worries.

I know of a young man who is working out of the country and he continues to worry that his wife is having another man while he was away. At last, after two years, he goes home and meets her again. That moment when he looked into her eyes once more, all worries went away. All anxieties, nightmares, and fears. This is not meant to gossip. I wrote this down so we may never forget: perfect love casts out fear.

One thing I learned traveling through life all these years is that love is ever present in the small things, and manifests itself in the simplest of actions. It is necessary therefore to remain in love, to keep it always, regardless of circumstances. To remain in love is to not hold it back, even when the one you love is not around to experience it.

Picking up the phone and saying the affectionate words we have been postponing. Opening the door to someone who couldn’t. Asking a waiter for a glass of water, or the extra chili sauce. Asking forgiveness for our mistakes and admitting what we have done. Demanding a right that is ours. Paying our bus fare. Opening a bank account. Closing a bank account. Putting music on really loud when the person we love is far away. And turning the volume down when he or she is near. Knowing when to say “yes” and “no”. Discovering a sport that can be played by two. Knowing when to admit we love someone with all our heart, mind, and soul. And, of course, telling them. Not following any formula, not even the ones in this paragraph, because love is creative.

And when all else fails, when loneliness and worries still linger because of the beloved’s absence, remember this story.

A flower dreamed day and night for the rain to come, but nothing fell all through the summer months.

The flower, however, continued to dream. During the long, warm nights she imagined a heaven full of his drops, which descends to bestow fond kisses on her. By doing this, she was able to appreciate the grass around her, show affection to bees flying about, and be friendly to the moon watching above. She was able to last until the next day, when she would continue to care for all the busyness around her.

One night, the moon, who knew of the flower’s loneliness and longing for the rain, asked: “Aren’t you tired of waiting?”

“Possibly, but I have to keep trying.”

“Why?”

“Because if I don’t remain in love, I will simply fade away. And one day, who knows, rain might come.”

At times, when fear and solitude seem to crush all beauty, the best thing to do is to remain in love.